You’ve practically never heard of me screech at you like this before, because I am obviously a witch. Granted, a pie-devouring witch, but a witch. I am ashamed to say I spelled which and then I was all like Which Which and so, food. FOOD. Anyhoo, Throne of Glass, I give you, without further ado. I honestly can’t tell why this was my beast of a book. IT was so freaking good, I regret not reading it earlier.
“Nothing is a coincidence. Everything has a purpose. You were meant to come to this castle, just as you were meant to be an assassin.”
When magic has gone from the world, and a vicious king rules from his throne of glass, an assassin comes to the castle. She does not come to kill, but to win her freedom. If she can defeat twenty-three killers, thieves, and warriors in a competition to find the greatest assassin in the land, she will become the King’s Champion and be released from prison.
Her name is Celaena Sardothien.
The Crown Prince will provoke her. The Captain of the Guard will protect her.
And a princess from a foreign land will become the one thing Celaena never thought she’d have again: a friend.
But something evil dwells in the castle—and it’s there to kill. When her competitors start dying, horribly, one by one, Celaena’s fight for freedom becomes a fight for survival—and a desperate quest to root out the source of the evil before it destroys her world.
AGH! WHY. WHY DID I NOT READ THIS EARLIER?! Journey with me, bookworms, across my treacherous journey of fangirling, and melting in the ultimatum of all puddles, MY FEELS!!!!
OH THE FEELS!!!!
So! I’ve decided that this book is one heck of a thrill ride and I cannot conveniently review it for you without referring to the book with a vigor that you’ll find I can only achieve through lemon meringue pie. And so, what I hear, is that if you offer me lemon meringue pie, then I will review this book while eating it. No pun intended. Oh, forget that.
“No. I can survive well enough on my own— if given the proper reading material.”
Just to let you all know, this book has a heck of a lot of profound sayings, along with the others. Kay? Gotcha. Great. The writing style is flawless and me being possibly the biggest bookworm to ever exist, I APPRECIATE THIS!!! Is it obvious? Can you tell? I like how in-depth and realistic the characters are. They’re not heroes or idols–they’re just people like you and me, living their own life story. I love how Maas incorporated all the realistic elements of an everyday (possibly more interesting) life beautifully, without infodump or too much rage across one page, blah, blah, blah, blah, for ten pages. It constantly held my attention and was absolutely thrilling!
“Names are not important. It’s what lies inside of you that matters.”
Amen, sister. So I love to write, let me tell you. And when I’m writing, I spend a lot of time looking for the perfect name to suit my character, but just recently, I realized that it doesn’t matter whatever name I write with, because my character will grow into the name and all will be beautiful. The deep message this quote sends gives you a hint about the plot, the setting, and the writing style. It makes your mind work to figure out what’s going on, without revealing it straightforwardly! Clever, huh? AKA awesomeness.
“We all bear scars… Mine just happen to be more visible than most.”
Yet another beautiful, profound saying! This is what I mean by realism! HECK, man. HECK. The rawness of that statement, saying outwardly that the character is not perfect–GAWD. It’s beautiful, and it’s and open door, letting you imagine what you want. I imagine you’re interested in knowing what’s behind this? Here’s a little peek for you behind this quote.
Celaena Sardothien is a notorious assassin. YES A BOOK ABOUT AN ASSASSIN REVEL IN THE GLORY WITH ME OH MY FRIENDS. She is an assassin and after the brutal torture and death of her lover, she is captured and taken to a labor camp that is meant to kill you. She is whipped. She is tortured. She is broken. She is in A DEATH CAMP until the Crown Prince takes her to fight as his Champion, or his input in the bet.
“Of course.” He picked up the brown bag of candy on the table. “What’s your . . .” He trailed off as he weighed the bag in his hands. “Didn’t I give you three pounds of candy?”
She smiled impishly.
“You ate half the bag!”
“Was I supposed to save it?”
“I would have liked some!”
“You never told me that.”
“Because I didn’t expect you to consume all of it before breakfast!”
She snatched the bag from him and put it on the table. “Well, that just shows poor judgement on your part, doesn’t it?”
I can guarantee that almost all of you will love the characters. CELAENA SARDOTHIEN, MOST DEADLY ASSASSIN AND PERSON IN THE LAND LOVES CHOCOLATES AND CANDY AND FANCY DRESSES. Make it real, thank you! All of her brilliant, witty remarks got me cracking up, and I warn you, Celaena will sass everyone she comes across. It is the most amusing, enjoyable thing I’ve ever read. Two things: CANDY. And “She snatched the bag from him and put it on the table. ‘Well, that just shows poor judgement on your part, doesn’t it?’
I LOVE THIS! I AM DYING! I AM DYING IN GLORY AND I. WANT. MORE.
“You have the skills,” Chaol said, “but some of your moves are still undisciplined.”
“That’s never stopped me from killing before,” she spat.
Chaol chuckled at her agitation and pointed his sword at the rack, allowing her to get to her feet. “Pick another—something different. Make it interesting, too. Something that will make me sweat, please.”
“You’ll be sweating when I skin you alive and squish your eyeballs beneath my feet,” she muttered, picking up the rapier.
“That’s the spirit.”
She practically threw the rapier into place, and drew the hunting knives without hesitation.
My dear old friends.
A wicked smile spread across her face.”
Can I laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh? I love her spirit! I do! Chaol, my man, Captain of the Royal Guard, you go dude! I love you! AND ANYONE TRY TO STEAL HIM I WILL BASH YOUR HEAD IN. The book is notoriously funny and it’ll keep you hooked on it, for there is never a moment when you are not tense and don’t want to stick your head between the pages, or you are laughing and possibly making all of your family members and friends considering the fact that you are insane. Which is probably true, no offense.
There is so much character input in here if you look at it! There is so much characterization going on, with the dialogue, being so detailed you can imagine what’s going on, and it just adds more to the depth of these amazing characters! I honestly CANNOT fathom how to express the amazing awesomeness of this book to you.
“He won every game, yet she hardly noticed. As long as she hit the ball, it resulted in shameless bragging. When she missed – well, even the fires of Hell couldn’t compare to the rage that burst from her mouth. He couldn’t remember a time when he’d laugh so hard.”
The swearing in the book, as well as some other references are a bit harrowing but are amusing and really light, and that gives you a better ideal of your character as well, don’t you think?! Look at this quote? Are you not laughing your head off? Between the Crown Prince Dorian WHO IS MY PROPERTY HE IS MINE BACK OFF and Celaena’s endless banter, it’s a laughable, light outlook! And super fun to read. They’re playing a pool hybrid and it’s amusing to see Celaena’s drive and passion and determination! GIRL. YOU GO.
“Libraries were full of ideas–perhaps the most dangerous and powerful of all weapons.”
I want so badly to tell you this is the last quote, but I have two more after this. So bear with me. This is a beautiful quote. I can tell Maas is a bookworm too, because I love the appreciation of books here. CELAENA IS A BOOKWORM. CELAENA IS AWESOMENESS. I love how Maas twisted all the most simple things in life to make us look at them in a different light. Look at how she changed our perception of libraries and ideas! Her writing is flawless and raw, and it is the most time-passing thing you would ever want to read.
“You could rattle the stars,” she whispered. “You could do anything, if only you dared. And deep down, you know it, too. That’s what scares you most.”
I WOULD LIKE TO CRY. MINIONS, GIVE ME A HANDKERCHIEF PLEASE. This is the deep stuff, man. The deep stuff. This book not only carried great characters, a great plot and setting, and beautiful writing, but it carries SO MUCH AUDIENCE VIGOR. There is so much here in the book that Maas wanted YOU as a reader to carry on and understand, and it’s the most beautiful I thing I swear I’ve ever read. You can understand so much, and feel so much, with this simple statement. Is determination, it is imagination, and it is confidence, that are all depicted like heck right here. Pardon me while I go die. Or cry. Or both.
“How long was I asleep?” she whispered. He didn’t respond.
“How long was I asleep?” she asked again, and noticed a hint of red in his cheeks.
“You were asleep, too?”
“Until you began drooling on my shoulder.”
HA HA HA HA HA. That was a real laugh. That was not me mocking you laughing. Not at all. This is funny. Admit it. It is funny and you want to laugh. This is realism right there. Look at the banter between Celaena and Chaol! Celaena is a real person and she is not a perfectionist. She is not an angel. She is a person and Maas writes like it. OH AND I LOVE CHAOL WESTFALL SO GO AWAY. Chaol is my bae. Along with Dorian and ROWAN and Aedion and the likes. Oh, my minions, you shall find out. This book made me laugh so much and I loved it! I LOVED IT! So go read it. Right now.
All in all, this was a beautiful, passionate book with such a great plot, better than any I’ve read this year, and I want all of you to read it and back off because Chaol and Dorian are mine and my best friends and if you say anything more I may take to the likes of Celaena and end up declaring war on you. Or, if I recall correctly, “squishing your eyeballs under my feet”. Pardon me.
GO READ THIS. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR. WHY ARE YOU STILL READING?? I TOLD YOU TO READ IT. If I haven’t convinced you, I don’t know what will, but if you don’t read this, then man, you’re missing out on some great stuff! So. GO. READ. IT. So yes. I want you to read Throne of Glass right now and then we can both emoji bomb each other over it with that crying-laughing thing. BLAH.
Have you read this book? what did you think of it? do you agree with me? if not, would you be interested in reading and how did your opinion differ? what are some other good books that you liked relative to Throne of Glass?